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Friday, January 28, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Ten Most Common Mistakes People Make When They Try to Get Their Ex Back
Ten Most Common Mistakes People Make When They Try to Get Their Ex Back - Avoid Them at All Costs
If you want to get back together with your ex and you've been looking online for ideas for any length of time, you've probably seen enough "things to do to win back your ex" articles and websites to last several lifetimes.
You're not - as you must have gathered from the title of this article - going to get that here.
Instead, you're going to read about the ten things that you SHOULD NOT DO if you hope to have any chance at winning back your ex.
This is a critically important subject because broken relationships are savable more times than you might think - provided that you don't make any of the mistakes that so many people commonly make when they're trying to get their ex back.
Okay, enough with the preamble. Let's get on with the list so you can get on with the process of winning back your ex
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #1 - Failing to Understand and Accept the Reasons Your Ex is Your Ex
This is where you need to start. There was a reason - or usually a number of reasons - that your ex broke things off with you. Face up to those reasons, spend some time getting an understanding of how they conspired to end your relationship, and accept your responsibility for them.
Most importantly, think hard about what you're prepared to do about them.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #2 - Not Giving Your Ex Time and Space
No matter how much you might want to see and talk to your ex right now - probably more than you ever did in the entire time the two of your were together - you have to give them time and space away from you.
As hard as it might be - and as much as you have convinced yourself that things could be worked out if only the two of you could "just talk" - you must not make any attempt to contact or see your ex for any reason.
If you do, two things are likely to happen:
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #3 - Dwelling on the Past
Leafing through old photos, listening to sad songs, and visiting places you and your ex used to visit is the shortest and surest route to forgetting all about the importance of giving your ex "time and space" and you'll soon break down and try to call or see him or her.
And if you combine any one of the above activities with alcohol, watch out. It is almost guaranteed that you will not only annoy your ex - if you call and your ex doesn't answer, alcohol increases the likelihood that you'll call back, again and again and again, by about 1,000%- but you will also very likely make a fool of yourself.
And that's pretty hard to recover from.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #4 - Letting Your Imagination Run Wild
No matter what your ex told you was the reason - or were the reasons - he or she broke things off with you, your imagination can take that reason, blow it to bits and pieces, and come up with a reason of its own.
And the reason that your imagination will come up with - more often than not - is that your ex met "someone else" even if that's the furthest thing from the truth.
Then your imagination will seek out - and find - "evidence" to support its conclusion and lead you down a pathway you shouldn't travel.
Remember mistake #1. You need to understand and accept the reasons your ex is your ex - and you need to accept them at face value.
If you let jealousy - borne of a runaway imagination - permeate your post-relationship "relationship," you're setting yourself up for total failure.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #5 - Doing Nothing to Better Yourself
While you might be perfectly fine just the way you are, the reality is that we can all use a little self-improvement from time to time. Especially when the person we love tells us that he or she no longer wants to be with us.
Can you think of a more perfect time or of better source of motivation to work on improving yourself - not only in the areas that disappointed your ex, but also in other areas where you aren't totally happy with yourself?
The added benefit of this "you time" is that it takes your mind off of your ex and also leads to opportunities to meet new people.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #6 - Thinking You Can "Convince" Your Ex That the Two of You Should Get Back Together
Too many people think that if their ex would only listen to reason, he or she would realize that the best thing to do would be to get back together.
The problem with this is that emotions aren't rational or logical. Your ex got into a relationship with you not because he or she reasoned that it was a smart decision. Your ex got into a relationship with you because he or she was swept away by totally irrational and illogical emotions.
Stop trying to be a salesperson with your ex. Emotions aren't used cars.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #7 - Misreading and Over-Reacting to Any Form of Contact From Your Ex
When your ex finally calls you (and it will happen), you have to make sure that you beat down the temptation to do the "blurt and gush." You know what I mean: you blurt out over and over again that you love him or her so, so much and you miss him or her so, so much and then you start gushing on about everything you've been thinking about and doing since the two of you have been apart - before your ex gets much of a chance to even say why he or she called.
When you do the "blurt and gush" you put out a message - on a subconscious level - that you are desperate and available. That takes away any advantage your ex may have been giving you by reaching out to you and puts it all back in his or her hands.
Make sure you don't blow a golden opportunity by falling into the "blurt and gush" trap. Keep your cool and let your ex do most of the talking.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #8 - Trying Harder in the Face of "Failure"
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. That might be good advice in many situations, but it isn't when you're trying to get your ex back because doing more of - or trying harder at - something that doesn't work just doesn't make sense.
First of all, don't see "failure" as failure. See it as feedback; feedback on what NOT to do (this list is a good start). Then stop doing it.
Second, don't try so hard. The "process" of getting back tougher with your ex shouldn't feel like an effort. It should feel easy and natural.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #9 - Taking the Advice of Your Friends and Family
Your family members and friends are, of course, wonderful people who want to support you through any trying times. And they're going to be on your side, of course, in this kind of a situation, which means that any advice they give you will be strongly biased in favour of you.
While support may feel good, you don't want to surround yourself with people whose words of support are filled with all of the things they think you want and need to hear.
You also don't need relationship advice from people who dispense it based on their own screwed-up relationship experiences.
What you need is straight talk from people who don't punches and who can put you on the pathway back to your ex.
The best way of dealing with friends and family members is to listen their advice, nod at the appropriate times, agree with what they're saying - and then forget all about it as soon as you can.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #10 - Failing to Get Independent, Objective, Expert Advice
If getting your ex back is really important to you, then you need to pull out the stops. This means that you have to go beyond just reading articles on the Internet about how to get your ex back and start taking action.
Taking action means that you have to invest some money into getting advice from an expert on the subject of relationship reconciliation; someone who's successfully put people on the pathway to reconciliation before - ideally many, many times.
I know that if you've gotten this far in the article, you're hurting - somewhere between "this hurts a lot" to "I can't bear the thought of going on without my ex in my life." And even though what you've learned in this article will help you by saving you from making mistakes, it doesn't tell you what to do to get back together with your ex. For more detailed information please see The Magic of Making Up
You're not - as you must have gathered from the title of this article - going to get that here.
Instead, you're going to read about the ten things that you SHOULD NOT DO if you hope to have any chance at winning back your ex.
This is a critically important subject because broken relationships are savable more times than you might think - provided that you don't make any of the mistakes that so many people commonly make when they're trying to get their ex back.
Okay, enough with the preamble. Let's get on with the list so you can get on with the process of winning back your ex
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #1 - Failing to Understand and Accept the Reasons Your Ex is Your Ex
This is where you need to start. There was a reason - or usually a number of reasons - that your ex broke things off with you. Face up to those reasons, spend some time getting an understanding of how they conspired to end your relationship, and accept your responsibility for them.
Most importantly, think hard about what you're prepared to do about them.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #2 - Not Giving Your Ex Time and Space
No matter how much you might want to see and talk to your ex right now - probably more than you ever did in the entire time the two of your were together - you have to give them time and space away from you.
As hard as it might be - and as much as you have convinced yourself that things could be worked out if only the two of you could "just talk" - you must not make any attempt to contact or see your ex for any reason.
If you do, two things are likely to happen:
- You will say or do something - or some things - that are counterproductive (in other words, stupid)
- Your ex will feel uncomfortable - and possibly angry - and will be less likely to want to talk to you in the near future
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #3 - Dwelling on the Past
Leafing through old photos, listening to sad songs, and visiting places you and your ex used to visit is the shortest and surest route to forgetting all about the importance of giving your ex "time and space" and you'll soon break down and try to call or see him or her.
And if you combine any one of the above activities with alcohol, watch out. It is almost guaranteed that you will not only annoy your ex - if you call and your ex doesn't answer, alcohol increases the likelihood that you'll call back, again and again and again, by about 1,000%- but you will also very likely make a fool of yourself.
And that's pretty hard to recover from.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #4 - Letting Your Imagination Run Wild
No matter what your ex told you was the reason - or were the reasons - he or she broke things off with you, your imagination can take that reason, blow it to bits and pieces, and come up with a reason of its own.
And the reason that your imagination will come up with - more often than not - is that your ex met "someone else" even if that's the furthest thing from the truth.
Then your imagination will seek out - and find - "evidence" to support its conclusion and lead you down a pathway you shouldn't travel.
Remember mistake #1. You need to understand and accept the reasons your ex is your ex - and you need to accept them at face value.
If you let jealousy - borne of a runaway imagination - permeate your post-relationship "relationship," you're setting yourself up for total failure.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #5 - Doing Nothing to Better Yourself
While you might be perfectly fine just the way you are, the reality is that we can all use a little self-improvement from time to time. Especially when the person we love tells us that he or she no longer wants to be with us.
Can you think of a more perfect time or of better source of motivation to work on improving yourself - not only in the areas that disappointed your ex, but also in other areas where you aren't totally happy with yourself?
The added benefit of this "you time" is that it takes your mind off of your ex and also leads to opportunities to meet new people.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #6 - Thinking You Can "Convince" Your Ex That the Two of You Should Get Back Together
Too many people think that if their ex would only listen to reason, he or she would realize that the best thing to do would be to get back together.
The problem with this is that emotions aren't rational or logical. Your ex got into a relationship with you not because he or she reasoned that it was a smart decision. Your ex got into a relationship with you because he or she was swept away by totally irrational and illogical emotions.
Stop trying to be a salesperson with your ex. Emotions aren't used cars.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #7 - Misreading and Over-Reacting to Any Form of Contact From Your Ex
When your ex finally calls you (and it will happen), you have to make sure that you beat down the temptation to do the "blurt and gush." You know what I mean: you blurt out over and over again that you love him or her so, so much and you miss him or her so, so much and then you start gushing on about everything you've been thinking about and doing since the two of you have been apart - before your ex gets much of a chance to even say why he or she called.
When you do the "blurt and gush" you put out a message - on a subconscious level - that you are desperate and available. That takes away any advantage your ex may have been giving you by reaching out to you and puts it all back in his or her hands.
Make sure you don't blow a golden opportunity by falling into the "blurt and gush" trap. Keep your cool and let your ex do most of the talking.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #8 - Trying Harder in the Face of "Failure"
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. That might be good advice in many situations, but it isn't when you're trying to get your ex back because doing more of - or trying harder at - something that doesn't work just doesn't make sense.
First of all, don't see "failure" as failure. See it as feedback; feedback on what NOT to do (this list is a good start). Then stop doing it.
Second, don't try so hard. The "process" of getting back tougher with your ex shouldn't feel like an effort. It should feel easy and natural.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #9 - Taking the Advice of Your Friends and Family
Your family members and friends are, of course, wonderful people who want to support you through any trying times. And they're going to be on your side, of course, in this kind of a situation, which means that any advice they give you will be strongly biased in favour of you.
While support may feel good, you don't want to surround yourself with people whose words of support are filled with all of the things they think you want and need to hear.
You also don't need relationship advice from people who dispense it based on their own screwed-up relationship experiences.
What you need is straight talk from people who don't punches and who can put you on the pathway back to your ex.
The best way of dealing with friends and family members is to listen their advice, nod at the appropriate times, agree with what they're saying - and then forget all about it as soon as you can.
Get Your Ex Back Mistake #10 - Failing to Get Independent, Objective, Expert Advice
If getting your ex back is really important to you, then you need to pull out the stops. This means that you have to go beyond just reading articles on the Internet about how to get your ex back and start taking action.
Taking action means that you have to invest some money into getting advice from an expert on the subject of relationship reconciliation; someone who's successfully put people on the pathway to reconciliation before - ideally many, many times.
I know that if you've gotten this far in the article, you're hurting - somewhere between "this hurts a lot" to "I can't bear the thought of going on without my ex in my life." And even though what you've learned in this article will help you by saving you from making mistakes, it doesn't tell you what to do to get back together with your ex. For more detailed information please see The Magic of Making Up
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This guide will show how get to your ex back. Works both for how to get your ex girlfriend and how to get your ex boyfriend back.
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Saturday, December 25, 2010
I want my wife back, do it in a month!!!!
Show her a new side of you, or the side that attracted her to you in the beginning, you know, whatever reason she loved you so much when you first met. Bringing out that good and loving side of you will work wonders.
For example, if she expects you to be begging for a second change, just do the opposite, tell her you understand why it has to be over, and you agree with the breakup. Hey this is the first step of getting her back. You won't lose her at all, because she will start to see the person she loved and married.
3. Don't call her for a while. Let her contact you. But if she don't contact you after a while, for maybe a week, drop her a call and start telling her something, and then say, "I gotta go bye," and then hang up.
Say something like, "There is something I've been needing to tell you, I just don't want you to hear it from someone else, for about a week now, I've been....sorry, I gotta go" Then hang up.
This will raise her curiosity level, and she'll be anxious to know what's going on, and what you're up to. She'll be afraid that you've already moved on without her, that fast. But , her mind will be on you and what you were trying to say.
Want your ex back in less than a month? This Free simple report will reveal the secrets on how to get your ex back as quickly as possible, and you will also receive a free report that puts you in the mind of your ex so you can easily tap those hot buttons.
Reeda is a compassionate expert on helping couples reunite and to have a long lasting relationship afterwards. She believes there's always hope for couples to get back what they had before, and even better than what they had. Get The magic of making up Click here!!!
For example, if she expects you to be begging for a second change, just do the opposite, tell her you understand why it has to be over, and you agree with the breakup. Hey this is the first step of getting her back. You won't lose her at all, because she will start to see the person she loved and married.
3. Don't call her for a while. Let her contact you. But if she don't contact you after a while, for maybe a week, drop her a call and start telling her something, and then say, "I gotta go bye," and then hang up.
Say something like, "There is something I've been needing to tell you, I just don't want you to hear it from someone else, for about a week now, I've been....sorry, I gotta go" Then hang up.
This will raise her curiosity level, and she'll be anxious to know what's going on, and what you're up to. She'll be afraid that you've already moved on without her, that fast. But , her mind will be on you and what you were trying to say.
Want your ex back in less than a month? This Free simple report will reveal the secrets on how to get your ex back as quickly as possible, and you will also receive a free report that puts you in the mind of your ex so you can easily tap those hot buttons.
Reeda is a compassionate expert on helping couples reunite and to have a long lasting relationship afterwards. She believes there's always hope for couples to get back what they had before, and even better than what they had. Get The magic of making up Click here!!!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Find Out If You Should Pursue Your Ex Or If You Should Let Go of the Relationship
Find Out If You Should Pursue Your Ex Or If You Should Let Go of the Relationship
I have seen a lot of articles and advertisement on the web that are aimed at "getting your ex back". I started to write a step by step guide on "how to get your ex back" and I changed my mind. I decided to stay true to my convictions and put information out there that people need to hear and not just what is popular. Before, I address how to get your ex back, I have to ask: Why do you want your ex back? You need to ask yourself the following question before you pursue your ex: Do I really want my ex back or am I just lonely? Is my ex really the person for me? Should I move on? In most cases I feel that an ex is an ex for a valid reason. It has been said that an ex is an example of what you don't want in the future. There are probably only a few circumstances that I recommend you pursue an ex. Lets talk about which situations you should pursue your ex and which situations you should let an ex go.
Let's start with the reasons you should not get back with your ex:
Reason #1: You should not pursue your ex in order to cure heartbreak or loneliness. It is very natural to feel hurt or lonely after a break up. You would have to be superhuman not to feel these emotions. You are more than likely to miss your ex from time to time. Obviously, you enjoyed their company and liked or loved them when you were with them. Those feelings are not going to go away all of a sudden because you guys broke up. Just because you miss your ex doesn't mean that two of you should get back together. Often people break up when they are angry with each other.The anger eventually subsides and you start to forget why you broke up in the first place. You begin to miss you ex and you want to get back together. I have seen couples go through this exact cycle only to get back together experience the same problems /conflicts that they had before and eventually break up again. Bottom line: Don't mistake loneliness for a valid reason to get back with your ex.
Reason #2: Jealousy
Sometime couples can not stand to be with each other but they also can't stand to see their significant other with any one else either. They will continue a relationship with someone that they know isn't right for them because they don't want them to date someone else. If this describes your feelings you need to get that " little green monster" in check. Jealousy is not a good reason to stay in a relationship or get back with your ex. Trust me in time you will get over your ex and you won't care who he/she dates.
Reason #3: Hoping that they will change
Just because you two broke up a week ago, doesn't mean he or she has changed. Often because you love someone you hope that they will change for the better. Don't expect that a break-up will automatically cause your partner to change and treat you the way you want to be treated. Sometimes a break-up does cause the other person to realize how important you were in their life and they do treat you better. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, or the norm. It's more like the exception to the rule. Sometimes the person will appear to have changed or may say that they have changed in order to get you back. The only way you can truly tell if someone has genuinely changed is examining their behavior over a period of time. If someone says that they have change I wouldn't suggest jumping back into the relationship right away. I would suggest you take things slow and really see if they have changed before rekindling the relationships.
Reasons why you may want to give the relationship another try:
Reason #1: You spoke out of anger
Anger is a very powerful emotion. Some of us have a hard time calming down and controlling our emotions once we have become angry. Often in a moment of anger we say things that we later regret. A simple fight over nothing could turn into an all out war. You both could have been so heated during an argument that you said things to one another that caused you to break-up. Often couples will say things like "If you feel like that, then maybe we shouldn't be together". The other person responds: "Maybe your right, we shouldn't be together". The next thing you know the two of you are broken up. If you two have a generally healthy relationship you shouldn't let a silly argument break you up. If this describes the situation you are currently in and you want your ex back, you need to humble yourself and apologize. Often after a fight no one wants to admit that they were wrong. Pride often is an even stronger emotion that anger. It doesn't really matter who was right or wrong. What matters is you still want to be with your ex. Once you come to this realization you need to start a dialogue with your ex. Call him or her and ask them if you they would be willing to meet with you. Tell them that you don't want to fight with them and that you would really appreciate their time if they would be willing to meet with you. Don't start this important conversation over the phone or text message. If they are unwilling to meet or talk with you can write them a letter apologizing for your behavior. Send it to them "snail mail" (regular mail), if you send it via email they are more likely to ignore or delete your message. It is best if you can meet face to face so that they can see your willingness to make amends. If your ex is willing to meet with you DO NOT rehash out all the details of the fight. Rehashing the details will probably lead to another argument. Apologize for the things that you said wrong. Don't expect or ask your significant other to apologize to you in exchange for your apology. At this time you want to focus on admitting your personal shortcomings and not focus on their faults.
Reason #2: You were wrong and you now realize it
Did you cheat on your partner? Were you verbally or physically abusive? Did you take your partner for granted? Were you a workaholic?
If you answered yes to any of these questions your behavior definitely contributed to the break-up. You may feel especially guilty regarding your actions. You may even wish that you could rewind time and do things differently. You cannot rewind the past but you can sincerely apologize to your partner for your short comings. If you sincerely want your partner back and you have mended your ways start by admitting what you did wrong in the relationship. If you really haven't changed please do not try to get your ex back. It is not fair to the other person to ask them to give you another chance if you are only going to continue your same behavior. Please don't make any promises that you cannot keep. If you are sure that you have reformed your ways start by explaining to your former partner that you are now aware of your shortcomings. Let them know how you have fixed things or plan to improve things in the future. Example: If you were a workaholic with three jobs, (don't laugh, I know people with three jobs) you can quit one of your jobs and let your partner know that you have restructured your schedule so that the two of you will have more time to spend together.
Reason#3: You took them for granted
They say you don't miss something until it's gone. Do you realize that your life isn't the same without the love of your life? Did you always think that this person was going to be around and now they are gone? Do you realize that you took your relationship for granted? Relationships take a lot of work. You have to feed and water them or they will die. You have to show love to your partner on a daily basis. Often people that have been together for a while can fall into a boring routine and forget to make their partner feel special. You can fall into the daily grind of paying bills and working and you forget to take time to show your partner that you appreciate and love them. If you don't show your partner that you love and care for them, how will they know? A neglected partner may begin to look for attention and affection in the arms of someone else. They may have decided to end the relationship because they could not stay in a relationship where they were being ignored. If you find yourself in this position and are ready to change, start by apologizing to your ex for your lack of affection, attention etc. Let them know that you realize that you took them for granted. Let them know how bad you have felt since they have been out of your life. Don't be afraid to be humble and bare your feelings. Don't let your pride get in the way of you expressing your true feelings. If your ex is receptive to giving the relationship another chance, establish a plan of action for the future. Pick one day a week or at least once month that will be your date night. Set aside time each day to let your partner know that you love and care about them. Ask your ex what you can do to show them your appreciation and love. Every person likes to be shown love in different ways so make sure that you get their opinion on how they would like to be shown love. Don't assume that your partner wants to be loved in the same way as you like to be.
Examine your motives for wanting to get back with your ex. If you really feel that you guys can have a healthy successful relationship the second time around then follow the steps above. Be patient with your partner it may take them time to come around to the idea of giving you a second chance. Good Luck!
Let's start with the reasons you should not get back with your ex:
Reason #1: You should not pursue your ex in order to cure heartbreak or loneliness. It is very natural to feel hurt or lonely after a break up. You would have to be superhuman not to feel these emotions. You are more than likely to miss your ex from time to time. Obviously, you enjoyed their company and liked or loved them when you were with them. Those feelings are not going to go away all of a sudden because you guys broke up. Just because you miss your ex doesn't mean that two of you should get back together. Often people break up when they are angry with each other.The anger eventually subsides and you start to forget why you broke up in the first place. You begin to miss you ex and you want to get back together. I have seen couples go through this exact cycle only to get back together experience the same problems /conflicts that they had before and eventually break up again. Bottom line: Don't mistake loneliness for a valid reason to get back with your ex.
Reason #2: Jealousy
Sometime couples can not stand to be with each other but they also can't stand to see their significant other with any one else either. They will continue a relationship with someone that they know isn't right for them because they don't want them to date someone else. If this describes your feelings you need to get that " little green monster" in check. Jealousy is not a good reason to stay in a relationship or get back with your ex. Trust me in time you will get over your ex and you won't care who he/she dates.
Reason #3: Hoping that they will change
Just because you two broke up a week ago, doesn't mean he or she has changed. Often because you love someone you hope that they will change for the better. Don't expect that a break-up will automatically cause your partner to change and treat you the way you want to be treated. Sometimes a break-up does cause the other person to realize how important you were in their life and they do treat you better. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, or the norm. It's more like the exception to the rule. Sometimes the person will appear to have changed or may say that they have changed in order to get you back. The only way you can truly tell if someone has genuinely changed is examining their behavior over a period of time. If someone says that they have change I wouldn't suggest jumping back into the relationship right away. I would suggest you take things slow and really see if they have changed before rekindling the relationships.
Reasons why you may want to give the relationship another try:
Reason #1: You spoke out of anger
Anger is a very powerful emotion. Some of us have a hard time calming down and controlling our emotions once we have become angry. Often in a moment of anger we say things that we later regret. A simple fight over nothing could turn into an all out war. You both could have been so heated during an argument that you said things to one another that caused you to break-up. Often couples will say things like "If you feel like that, then maybe we shouldn't be together". The other person responds: "Maybe your right, we shouldn't be together". The next thing you know the two of you are broken up. If you two have a generally healthy relationship you shouldn't let a silly argument break you up. If this describes the situation you are currently in and you want your ex back, you need to humble yourself and apologize. Often after a fight no one wants to admit that they were wrong. Pride often is an even stronger emotion that anger. It doesn't really matter who was right or wrong. What matters is you still want to be with your ex. Once you come to this realization you need to start a dialogue with your ex. Call him or her and ask them if you they would be willing to meet with you. Tell them that you don't want to fight with them and that you would really appreciate their time if they would be willing to meet with you. Don't start this important conversation over the phone or text message. If they are unwilling to meet or talk with you can write them a letter apologizing for your behavior. Send it to them "snail mail" (regular mail), if you send it via email they are more likely to ignore or delete your message. It is best if you can meet face to face so that they can see your willingness to make amends. If your ex is willing to meet with you DO NOT rehash out all the details of the fight. Rehashing the details will probably lead to another argument. Apologize for the things that you said wrong. Don't expect or ask your significant other to apologize to you in exchange for your apology. At this time you want to focus on admitting your personal shortcomings and not focus on their faults.
Reason #2: You were wrong and you now realize it
Did you cheat on your partner? Were you verbally or physically abusive? Did you take your partner for granted? Were you a workaholic?
If you answered yes to any of these questions your behavior definitely contributed to the break-up. You may feel especially guilty regarding your actions. You may even wish that you could rewind time and do things differently. You cannot rewind the past but you can sincerely apologize to your partner for your short comings. If you sincerely want your partner back and you have mended your ways start by admitting what you did wrong in the relationship. If you really haven't changed please do not try to get your ex back. It is not fair to the other person to ask them to give you another chance if you are only going to continue your same behavior. Please don't make any promises that you cannot keep. If you are sure that you have reformed your ways start by explaining to your former partner that you are now aware of your shortcomings. Let them know how you have fixed things or plan to improve things in the future. Example: If you were a workaholic with three jobs, (don't laugh, I know people with three jobs) you can quit one of your jobs and let your partner know that you have restructured your schedule so that the two of you will have more time to spend together.
Reason#3: You took them for granted
They say you don't miss something until it's gone. Do you realize that your life isn't the same without the love of your life? Did you always think that this person was going to be around and now they are gone? Do you realize that you took your relationship for granted? Relationships take a lot of work. You have to feed and water them or they will die. You have to show love to your partner on a daily basis. Often people that have been together for a while can fall into a boring routine and forget to make their partner feel special. You can fall into the daily grind of paying bills and working and you forget to take time to show your partner that you appreciate and love them. If you don't show your partner that you love and care for them, how will they know? A neglected partner may begin to look for attention and affection in the arms of someone else. They may have decided to end the relationship because they could not stay in a relationship where they were being ignored. If you find yourself in this position and are ready to change, start by apologizing to your ex for your lack of affection, attention etc. Let them know that you realize that you took them for granted. Let them know how bad you have felt since they have been out of your life. Don't be afraid to be humble and bare your feelings. Don't let your pride get in the way of you expressing your true feelings. If your ex is receptive to giving the relationship another chance, establish a plan of action for the future. Pick one day a week or at least once month that will be your date night. Set aside time each day to let your partner know that you love and care about them. Ask your ex what you can do to show them your appreciation and love. Every person likes to be shown love in different ways so make sure that you get their opinion on how they would like to be shown love. Don't assume that your partner wants to be loved in the same way as you like to be.
Examine your motives for wanting to get back with your ex. If you really feel that you guys can have a healthy successful relationship the second time around then follow the steps above. Be patient with your partner it may take them time to come around to the idea of giving you a second chance. Good Luck!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
M3 System: Get Your Ex Back - boyfriend/girlfriend
Motivated to act now before another lover steals them away. Check it out!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
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